The Real Deal About Loving Your Body
Loving your body is not the same as loving the way it looks
Do you feel that loving your body is way too hard?
Do you believe that it would need to be different for you to truly love it?
If so, we need to talk.
See, we were deeply convinced that the way to love our bodies is somehow tied to our appearance. Have you ever heard, “the lady who got fat because she abandoned herself?” — indicating a change of her appearance for lack of love.
It is natural that we seek to change our appearance — via weight loss, facial fill, surgery, hair color, etc. — so that we will finally be able to love ourselves.
When it comes to our weight, we are pretty sure that this beautiful feeling of self-love comes from bonuses once we reach some “ideal weight.”
But… that’s just not how it works, is it?
The insignificance of the scale
I will never forget the cold touch of the bathroom floor under my feet every morning while the scale turned on.
For many years, I allowed that device to determine what my day would be like.
If the number was lower than the previous day (rare), I felt the excitement that encouraged me to keep counting every cherry tomato that passed through my mouth, since I believed that this control would guarantee the freedom I sought.
If the number didn’t change, frustration and hopelessness would dominate my day, and I felt like I would never get there (in any area of my life).
But nothing was worse than seeing the number go up (very often). Then I would enter the spiral of panic, terror, fear of judgment, shame, and anxiety to devise a “new infallible plan” to lose weight.
Maybe you already felt that (maybe today). This is not surprising, as in our culture we have learned that our value lies in our weight and our beauty. If we are not in the pattern, we will not achieve love, connection, security, stability, respect — and all the other innate needs as humans.
That’s why, right now, I want you to think about the person you love most in this world.
Now I want you to answer, honestly, would your love for him or her decrease by one hundredth if their weight increased?
By the way, do you know how much they weigh? Is this information relevant in any way to your relationship?
This kind of reflection is important for you to realize that you are more than that number. You deserve all the best, no matter what that glass square on the floor tells you.
Reframing unconditional love to your body
Please know that everything changes when you take your focus off losing or controlling your weight and put your energy towards nourishing and honoring your body, in treating this vassal, your only instrument to access your life, with the love it deserves.
You don’t have to love the way your body looks, but you can treat it with love anyway. This is unconditional love.
See, I am not saying that it is wrong to change your appearance, you are free to do whatever you want! What I’m saying is that if your weight loss quest is based on self-rejection or fear, you will never get what you really want — because weighing less does not give you the ability to feel good in your body (you may remember from a time when you were very thin and still not feeling good enough).
This is inner work, and often, as your inner frame changes, the outer frame begins to transform with it.
The only sustainable change is based on love. So choose wisely!
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I am a Brazilian girl (living in Sao Paulo with my fiancé — and another 20 million people). I love coffee, books, and good food. I also really enjoy studying and learning new things that allow me to further develop myself both professionally and personally. I have a degree in Food Science and hold a Ph.D. in Agri-food Marketing. In addition, I am a Certified Nutrition Coach and an enthusiastic Nutrition student.
There is a power that comes alive when women free themselves from the food prison in which they have learned to live, when they realize that they are capable and deserving of feeling fantastic in their own bodies, and that confidence is a state of mind — not a body lotion which you get the right to use when you reach a weight-loss goal.
My work is dedicated to nurturing, celebrating and sharing this message.