How to Navigate Food Choices in Social Settings (Without Feeling Like the Weird One)
If you’ve ever found yourself eating “meh” food at a holiday party just because everyone else was eating… or loading your plate with seconds you didn’t even want because your aunt asked, “Is that ALL you’re having?” — you’re definitely not alone.
Social eating is a part of life. It’s a wonderful, messy, delicious, emotional part of life, but it can also be super challenging when you’re trying to eat more mindfully, tune into your body signals, or stay focused on your goals.
As someone who’s coached midlife women through every holiday, birthday, work lunch, girls’ weekend, and office meeting full of Timbits, I want to share whatI know about navigating these moments with more ease and less guilt! I will provide you with some helpful tips on how to stay mindful during social events without feeling restricted or awkward; tips for listening to your body’s signals when eating in groups; and how journaling social experiences (yes, even the messy ones) can actually change your relationship with food!
First, Why Social Eating Is So Tricky (Especially in Midlife)
Social eating is never just about the food — it’s about the people, the expectations, the relationships, the history, and so much more! For those of us in midlife, it’s also about the fact that your body is changing in ways that weren’t happening years ago, and navigating that can bring extra pressure.
Social eating is also very much about belonging. Food (and alcohol) can feel like a form of peer pressure — if you’re not joining in, people notice. They ask questions — (Questions that often aren’t ANY of their business.)
The good news is that you don’t have to choose between being “part of the tribe” and honoring your goals. You can do both! Here are my top 7 tips for navigating food choices in social settings:
1. Be Intentional
Eating with intention means aligning your food choices with how you want to feel both during and after the meal. It’s not about restriction; it’s actually about making decisions that feel good in your body and your life. Think less about following rules — and more about following you. When the party is over and everyone goes back to their own homes, you want to go back to yours feeling good!
2. Choose Wisely
In every social eating setting, there’s almost always a selection of food you love; food that’s… meh; and food you’re eating just because it’s there. Give yourself permission to skip the “meh” and “just because it’s there”. Only take what’s genuinely delicious and satisfying. One question I always like to ask my clients is: What is truly WORTH it to you?
3. Practice Using the Hunger & Fullness Scale
You shouldn’t leave a meal feeling full to the brim and social settings are no different. This is a tool I coach my clients to use on the regular and not just in social situations. After all, becoming aware of your hunger/fullness before, during and after meals is key to not overeating. It’s something you can do ALL the time. The more practice you have with this, the better. Very simply, a 1 on the hunger/fullness scale would be absolutely starving and a 10 would be beyond uncomfortably stuffed; almost sick. I recommend most people eat when they are around a 4 and stop eating around a 7.
Another way of thinking about it is eating to about 80% fullness. It’s what the Japanese call “Hara Hachi Bu” — and it can be a game changer. If you’re thinking, “I have no idea what a 5 or 80% feels like” — that’s okay. It takes practice.
4. Keep the Focus on Connection, Not Consumption
Remember that in these social situations that food is only a PART of the event — it’s not the main event. Practice shifting your attention toward the conversations, connections, laughter, stories, and the silly things your cousin says after only one glass of wine! When you’re engaged socially, food becomes a nice “add-on”, not the only reason you’re there. And once you make this shift — you feel like you can handle everything better.
5. Slow Down. Seriously.
This is hard in a group, especially when the vibe is fast and chatty. But if you can pause between bites, it helps your body register fullness (as we talked about) before it’s too late. Try putting your fork down while talking and chewing a little longer than you think you need to. Focus on the enjoyment of the food. Remember, you’re eating things you really like (by choosing what matters most!), so you should spend time actually enjoying what you are eating. You’ll find that when you can enjoy your food that you won’t feel like you need as much, I promise!
6. Don’t Feel You Must “Match Energy”
Have you ever been at a table where someone keeps refilling everyone’s plate? Or where everyone is raving about the bread and passing it around like communion? Matching the group’s eating pace is common — but you don’t have to engage (especially if it’s an unhealthy vibe!). Give yourself permission to eat in alignment with YOUR hunger.
It’s totally okay to say: “No thanks, I’m good!!” or “That looks amazing, I’m just full right now.” You don’t need to explain. And if someone gets pushy or upset that you’re not eating what they THINK you should be — just remind yourself: their reaction is about them, not you. A “game” I often play when I catch myself getting caught up in fast-paced-eating-energy is to make sure I am the last one eating.
7. Journal With Curiosity
This is one of my favorite tools because it gives you such clarity and awareness, which you can then use in your very next social situation!
After a social event, spend some time reflecting on what went well and what didn’t.
What was the environment like? Were you with people who also value their health? How quickly did you eat? Did any alcohol affect your choices? How were you feeling before the event? How hungry were you going in? Did you catch yourself eating because of peer pressure or anxiety? How full did you feel after? Did you honor your body’s hunger/fullness signals? If not, what got in the way? What went well? What was hard? What would you do differently?
Once you have gathered some good data across multiple events, you can hopefully start to see some patterns: Do you eat past fullness more often when certain family members are around? Do you feel more in control at smaller gatherings? Are you skipping meals before social events and then overeating later? This insight is gold. It’s not about judgment — it’s about understanding yourself. Be curious, not judgmental!
Real Talk: What to Do When It Doesn’t Go “Perfectly”
Let’s be honest — it won’t always go perfectly. You’ll have moments where you eat too much, drink more than you planned, or leave feeling bloated and regretful.
That’s okay. That’s completely normal. These are not failures if we learn from them. They’re excellent data points. Ask yourself: What led up to this? What was I needing in that moment? How can I support myself better next time?
Final Thoughts: Social Eating as a Practice (Not a Test)
Mindful social eating is a skill. Like so many of the other food skills I help my clients to excel at…they get easier with repetition. You’ll get more comfortable listening to your body even in loud, distracting environments. You’ll become more confident speaking up for your needs, even if it means upsetting your aunt temporarily. You’ll notice how different foods and situations make you feel — and you’ll get better at choosing what’s truly worth it.
Most importantly, you’ll stop feeling like you need to choose between fun and feeling good. Because you deserve both. And you can HAVE both!
Want More Support?
If this post resonated with you, I’d love to help you go deeper. My coaching is designed for women who are ready to build sustainable habits — not gather more rules. Together, we’ll work through the real-life stuff: social pressure, body changes, stress eating, wine o’clock, and all the messiness in between. We’ll build a plan that works for your lifestyle, with accountability and compassion (and yes, snacks).
Learn more at www.thewellnesslifestyle.ca
Stacy Yates is the CEO (Chief Eating Officer) for the Wellness Lifestyle.
The Wellness Lifestyle helps mid-life women who have already tried it all and are now looking for real, lasting change that can only come from personalization and accountability. From food journaling to weekly coaching to community, clients get the nudge they need to build on their current healthy habits and make the new ones stick so they can ditch the diet and live life well.
Together, we delve into your limiting beliefs, challenge your excuses, and create the health, wellness, movement, and lifestyle changes you’re looking for and what work for midlife.
While there’s no quick fix, you’ll get a personalized shortcut on your journey towards real health. Ready to feel at home in your body?
Learn more @ www.thewellnesslifestyle.ca
